Being yourself as a leader

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to show up authentically as a leader ... just being yourself.

When I started in my corporate career and promoted into more senior roles I had the wrong people as role models. I thought I needed to look and behave like them in order to succeed.

For a while I tried it. I fell into the 'in crowd'. I thought they valued and listened to me. Until they didn't.

Gradually I'd recognised that I'd changed and didn't particularly like it. My health and relationships suffered. I was getting stressed about things that wouldn't have worried me before. But I couldn't quite put my finger on what was happening.

That was until things got challenging for the organisation I was working at. The veneer started to fade from those I had surrounded myself with. Real personalities started to show and behaviours appeared that were at odds with my values.

Something clicked - probably also thanks to some wise counsel from my other half - and I realised that I needed to reclaim who I was before.

I needed to lean into being more me.

That meant not trying to people please. Fighting to align what was being asked of me with my values. Sticking up for what I believed to be right. Advising on the right actions and decisions, not just saying what would make those people happy.

It meant saying no. Putting in place boundaries. Respecting my time. Even dressing in a way I felt comfortable (no more stuffy suits!).

I'm not going to lie, it was hard. Because those same people I'd surrounded myself with didn't like what they saw and heard. And they told me!

It was hard because I felt vulnerable and a lone voice at times.

Their behaviours got worse, but I dug deeper still. I knew I had to go longer and harder than them.

It was messy and uncomfortable. But I do not regret it one bit.

Why? Because I was being true to my values and things that were important to me. People got what they saw. No-one was ever going to take that from me again.

I became a stronger leader for it. I felt I could connect more fully with the people who mattered - those my organisations served. I had greater clarity of vision and felt more able to take people with me on a journey that I believed in.

And I showed others that you didn't need to be a corporate hard-nose to succeed. An approach I've continued since setting up my own business.

There is another way to lead.

Have you felt that you've been able to show up as yourself at work? If not, what's held you back?