(E12) Why your network matters
Today we’re talking about networks and why they’re an important part of your personal leadership strategy. It doesn’t matter whether you’re an extrovert, introvert or ambivert. If you pride yourself in knowing a lot of people or you’d rather be able to count your network on one hand. Because there’s actually a lot more to take into consideration about who you surround yourself with as a leader.
In this episode we’re exploring why your network needs to shift and change as you evolve and how curating yours can be the difference in the impact you make as a leader.
The topic of networks was sparked by a mini co-working retreat with my How to Take the Lead collaborator because it once again showed how important it is to have people in your orbit who get you, who will cheerlead for you, who will go along with your stupid ideas, but who also aren’t afraid to tell you the truth, they don’t pander to you, they challenge your thinking and assumptions.
I have this conversation with every leader who I hold strategy days with and many others when I chat with them. Because it’s a subtle - but actually quite major - influence on the whole personal leadership strategy, self-leadership, communications dynamic that contributes to the impact you’re making as a leader.
Let’s talk about why your network is important when we’re talking about impact and the benefits of having the right network:
It enhances your performance and productivity - the voices you hear in your network are going to be a mix of cheerleader and challenger. That’s always going to keep you sharp, motivated and focussed on the things that matter as a leader. You’re going to learn from these people and from that you’re also going to get new opportunities - whether it’s new business, new jobs or new thinking
It helps your self-leadership - there’ll be those who provide a safe space when you need it, who’ll make you accountable for your own wellbeing, who’ll be role models for the type of leader you want to be
It improves your communications - your networks will prove to you that it’s possible for you to connect with others, that you can be vulnerable, that you can show up authentically. They’ll call you out on your BS.
The flip side of all of these benefits are also true - if you don’t have the right people in your networks, if you don’t have variety of opinions and voices, if you don’t have people willing to tell you the truth or unafraid to speak up - you will not make the impact you want as a leader.
Your network in essence is who you surround yourself with. You’re going to know a lot of people - and this isn’t about how many people you know. That comes into play when we talk about stakeholders and map them to your priorities.
Your networks are about who are the most important people to you - how do you define what’s important - and what role do they play for you and you for them. Because it is a two-way street and you have to be putting into these networks and relationships to get value out.
This will be a much smaller group of people - and even then it’s not one homogeneous group - you will have different groups, with different purposes.
And it’s important you know where people sit so that you can have clarity in the nature of your relationship and the dealings you have with them.
There tend to be three main networks:
Personal support network - this is your most sacred and normally smallest network. These are the people who are your safe space, who see the best and worst of you, who know you so well that they can call out the BS. They can put you back in your place but they don’t hold you back - and that’s such an important distinction. When I worked in my corporate role, these were my closest friends and allies. Who I could turn to when things got bad - and they knew whether I needed some humour, a shoulder, a listening ear or a critical eye. And I wouldn’t always like what they had to say but I respected them for saying it.
People of influence network - these are the strategically important relationships. People who align with your values and beliefs. Who you recognise you both play an important role in each other’s success and you know where the line is so that it doesn’t cross into ‘personal support’ territory. These are the people in your stakeholder map who are high interest and high influence.
Value-add network - these are people who play a really important part in your life or business in one way or another, but perhaps don’t see or get too involved in other elements of your life or business. This is where your business pals might sit or if you have a coach or a mentor or you’ve set up a peer group as part of a course or something similar. You know the role you’re all playing for each other and there isn’t an expectation beyond that.
It’s really important to be intentional in your networks and curate who you have around you.
As a leader it can be both an incredibly lonely role but also one of the noisiest things you’ll do. Everyone wants a bit of you. Everyone wants to be heard. You’ll be surrounded by people who have stuff to say and as a leader you think you have to listen to everything and everyone.
But part of leadership is learning to filter and that includes who is in your networks.
It isn’t a mucky, manipulative thing to be intentional in your networks - this is about self-preservation and yes, self-leadership.
The hardest lessons I’ve learnt in my leadership career is about knowing when to edit and change up who’s in my networks.
I’ve had to distance myself and say farewell to people in my personal support network, because they were holding me back, trying to keep me in a place I had outgrown. I knew deep down the relationship weren’t serving me, but I wanted to avoid conflict and it took a lot of reflection and personal growth (and help from others in my networks - including my coach) to make those changes.
Even now in my own business, not many of the voices I allowed in to influence me in my early days are still around now. I saw them as part of my influence or value-add networks, but either they became part of the noise, which confused me and affected my productivity and performance OR their support was time-limited and we both knew it was time to move on.
There have also been people who have moved from one part of my network to another and that’s cool too.
As leaders, we need to normalise that it’s ok to be intentional with our networks and nurture them for mutual gain. This isn’t about people pleasing or popularity contests or manipulation. It’s not about creating echo-chambers or an army of yes people. In fact if that sounds like your network you absolutely need to start editing and being intentional.
So many of the clients I work with have these breakthrough moments when they realise who in their network is draining their time and energy, who is trying to hold them back as the person they used to be, not the leader they’re becoming. And to begin to start to accept that changing those relationships and dynamics is freeing - it brings space and opportunity - it invites diversity of thinking and approach. It’s where your most impactful self will be found.
If you’re like the leaders I’ve worked with, you might not have given much thought to your network beyond the everyday interactions you’re having with them. But I use this episode as an invitation for you to start your own reflection. This doesn’t need to be a long laborious exercise. You don’t have to perfectly map out your networks and put them into their relevant buckets. It’s more about taking the chance to bring awareness to who you have around you and the role they play as you strive to be a more impactful leader.
Think about people you have interacted with today, yesterday, over the past week - how did they make you feel? Did they drain or energise you? Are they helping you to grow or holding you back? Are they trusted in your personal support network or they adding value in a particular area of your work or life? Think about what you’re giving to those relationships too - are you serving people well, or is it time to redefine the roles you play in each others’ lives?
The answers may not be immediately apparent. The reflections may throw up some uncomfortable truths or provide that breakthrough on why you’re not performing as you would like. You may need to sit with those feelings for a while before you decide on the action you need to take. You may decide to keep a watching brief on certain relationships, to understand whether it’s a natural ebb and flow of support - after all everyone has their own stuff going on - or if it’s a pattern that’s repeating and won’t improve. And you might want to chat it all through with someone who does feel right within your networks.
Resources and helpful links
If you think that your networks could do with some TLC in 2024 then coaching could do you for what it did for me all those years ago. Coaching offers you a safe space to tackle those challenges with some fresh thinking.
