What are your boundaries?

You're not always going to be on top form as a leader ... and that's ok ... in fact that's great, it means you're human!

For years, I thought leadership was always showing up, working harder and longer than everyone else in the office. Pushing through no matter what.

I'd feel guilty if I left the office on time, or even a little bit early. I thought it looked bad if I left before my team did. It didn't matter that I had got to work two hours before the team. Or that I was doing a stupid-ass commute either side of the working day. I thought I would be judged.

I worried that I needed to be constantly checking my emails when I wasn't in the office. In the evenings and the weekends. Those were the hours when we 'caught up' on everything that we'd miss due to being in back to back meetings.

My peers and seniors were behaving the same way, so I didn't want to be the one that looked like she wasn't on top of her shit.

I slowly came to realise however that this wasn't leadership done right and a few things over time bought it to a head:

1. I noticed that the harder I worked the more demanding my bosses were of me. It was relentless and felt like I was emptying the water out the bottom of a boat with a hole in it ... I just kept sinking. All my efforts were not clearing the decks

2. I fell ill and had to undergo a series of tests to get to the bottom of it. It showed me that a) they could cope without me and I wasn't indispensable, and b) I could have avoided falling ill if I had taken better care of myself

3. My behaviours and attitudes were impacting my team. In the same way I was influenced by those around me, I came to realise that I was creating unhealthy expectations on my staff. I was role modelling the wrong behaviour and that wasn't cool

4. When things got really tough at work (in what was quite a toxic environment at the time) I was harassed, bullied and blamed. There was no recognition of all the hours I'd worked, or the advice and support I'd given to those affected. Nothing. My over-working hadn't built up a special bank of brownie points I could cash in.

So, I started to stand up for myself. I reset my personal boundaries. I stopped checking emails out of hours (unless there was an emergency). I demonstrated a more flexible way of working ... leaving the office early on some days, taking back time in lieu, working from home, and I was open about why. I was more vocal with my team about looking after themselves.

And since setting up my own business I have continued to put boundaries in place. I have CEO days in my diary where I work ON not IN my business - it isn't something that I delegate to out of hours.

I will have a lazy morning if I know that I've got a work-related event in the evening.

I've got to know my mind and body and how and when I am best suited to do different things in my business, and I manage my calendar and client bookings to suit that.

I prioritise spending time with my family and friends and I focus on my health and wellbeing - these are non-negotiables.

I choose to work with people who are aligned with my values.

I know me and my business are stronger for this.

What boundaries have you struggled to put in place as a leader or business owner? Drop me a line and let me know.